Madison Avenue Marketing Group created this fun online video for Parker Steel. It’s a tribute to both Abbott & Costello’s “Who’s on First?” and the educational films of the 1950s.
The video stars Mark Knope as Sammy and Bob Seybold as Marv.
Writer / Director: Scott Greggory
Cameras: Ron Matanick and Thom Ovacek
Editing: Ron Matanick
Effects: Thom Ovacek
TRANSCRIPTION
Bob: Good afternoon, Parker Steel. Marv here.
Mark: Hey Marv, this is Sammy over at Acme Precision. How ya’ doin’?
Bob: Why, hello Sammy. I’m just swell. How are you?
Mark: Good, good. Say, did ya’ catch the ball game last night?
Bob: Sure did.
Mark: Can you believe Williams tripped on his way down to first?
Bob: Yes, well…
Mark: We woulda’ won if he coulda’ run 90 feet! A crummy 90 feet!
Bob: ‘Round here that’s 27.4 meters.
Mark: What is?
Bob: 90 feet.
Mark: Huh?
Bob: 90 feet is 27.4 meters.
Mark: No, 90 feet is 90 feet.
Bob: Well, yes and no.
Mark: You been nippin’ at the cough medicine there, Marv?
Bob: No, no. Ya’ see at Parker Steel we work with metric-sized metals, not imperial or standard American sizes.
Mark: Why you! Are you sayin’ you ain’t American?
Bob: Don’t worry, Sammy. We’re an American company through and through. We’re located in Toledo, Ohio
Mark: Ahh, the Glass Capital!
Bob: That’s right. But we deal in metal. And we do measure length in feet.
Mark: Okay, so I need a round bar for a special project, see. Needs to be about 2 inches.
Bob: Alrighty then – one round bar – 50.8 millimeters.
Mark: No, 2 inches.
Bob: Two inches and 50.8 millimeters are the same thing.
Mark: How’s that?
Bob: At Parker Steel we use the units of the metric system to measure our metal products.
Mark: Not imperial or standard sizes, like inches and feet.
Bob: That’s right.
Mark: Okay, so just give me a 50.8 millimeter round bar then.
Bob: Well, we don’t actually sell 50.8.
Mark: For cryin’ out loud! You just said you sell metric metal!
Bob: True, but we only sell hard metric sizes.
Mark: Hard metric sizes? I’m gonna’ give you a hard sock in the jaw!
Bob: Sorry, Sammy. The term “hard metrics” just means round numbers, like 50 or 51. We don’t usually stock in-between sizes like 50.8. Sometimes we have hard half sizes…but 50.8 is not hard. It’s considered “odd.”
Mark: No, I consider you odd, Marv! And I mean that in the best possible way.
Bob: I know, Sammy. It takes a little getting used to. But we sell metric metal because a whole lot of folks need pre-sized metric stock and they don’t want to machine it.
Mark: Alright. So lemme see if I got this straight. I need about a 2-inch round bar…
Bob: Yes.
Mark: …but you don’t have 2-inch round bar.
Bob: That’s right.
Mark: You say that’s a 50.8 millimeter round bar…
Bob: Correct.
Mark: And you don’t actually have a 50.8 millimeter round bar because that’s not hard…
Bob: Right.
Mark: But I can get a 51 millimeter round bar because that is hard.
Bob: See? Easy as pie.
Mark: Got it: a 50.8 rounds up to a 51 millimeter. Okay, that’ll work, ‘specially since I can’t find a 2-inch round bar anywhere!
Bob: Terrific.
Mark: Hey, whadya’ know? I found my metal…and I learned somethin’.
Bob: You mean about metric metals?
Mark: No, I learned never to ask you about another ball game.
Post time: Jun-21-2017